COOPIE's Confession

I, Borachio Perdente, come here today in an effort to ask for your forgiveness and mercy for I have contributed to the defamation of an otherwise honorable and pure maiden. I did so after being offered a sum of money in exchange for my contribution to a very specific and volatile publication in the Ask Coopie column.

It was an abuse of my leadership and a disservice to the University of Messina as a whole. I can confirm that these accusations were not only fabricated in their nature, but also completely and entirely false. Oh please forgive me Hero, even though you will never see this I can only scream to the emptiness how sorry I am. I cannot believe what I have done. Only such a fool would do such a thing as I and beg for forgiveness. I come here today with my ego set to the side. I would like to once again emphasize that HERO DID NOTHING WRONG OMG PLEASE FORGIVE ME I DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS GOING TO DIE.

I also come here today to tender my resignation of any and all current and future contributions and affiliations with the Messina Daily. I also must admit to being bribed by Pedro Donaldson to deceive Beatrice in that same Ask Coopie post. Once again, words can not express the sorrow that fills my cold and empty soul for the actions I have committed. I accept now that I have earned myself a one way ticket to the deepest pit of hell and for that I understand and accept my fate.